Do you feel like an Imposter and desire to build self-confidence at work and in life?

 People who struggle with something known as imposter syndrome often believe that they do not deserve their achievements or the high esteem that many others may have of them. They may feel that people see them in the wrong light, or that they are given more praise and accolades than they deserve. This can cause anxiety because they often worry others will catch on and see them as an imposter, which is where the name comes from. Someone with this disorder may feel that they are not as intelligent or competent as others may think they are. And they worry that soon enough, those around them will start to discover the truth. This is often unfounded. The person with the syndrome is usually bright and funny and does well with other people. They are not purposely trying to trick people. But when they get special recognition for something they worked hard on or did well, then they feel like they are deceiving others. Due to this, it is common to find those who have imposter syndrome as someone who is well accomplished. Many of these individuals will have numerous academic degrees or hold a high office of some kind, often because they worked hard and deserved it, though this syndrome makes them think otherwise. That brings up the question, why do people with this syndrome feel like they are frauds when there is a ton of evidence around them that point to their success. Instead of acknowledging their capabilities and the effort they put in, they will choose to attribute all their good accomplishments to external causes. For example, they may say that it was good timing or good luck that got them where they are.

It is often due to personality traits that someone will have imposter syndrome. Those who experience it will struggle with a few other problems, including neuroticism, perfectionism, and self-efficacy. Competitive environments are thought to lay some of the groundwork for this. You may find that those who deal with this syndrome had to deal with a lot of pressure about their grades and doing well in school from their parents.

Getting to the Root of the Problem

With this in mind, it is important to figure out how to get to the root of why you feel the way you do. Is it because you feel that you are not talented enough to have the position? Where you under a lot of stress for perfection and constantly failing as a kid? Do you not feel like you belong? And why are those feelings there?

1. Building Self-Confidence: One Day At A Time

As you took a look through some of the different triggers that will cause imposter syndrome, you may notice that a big issue has to do with the self-esteem of the individual who suffers from it. When their self-esteem is low, they are less likely to feel like they belong or that they are truly worth the praise and attention that they get. This means that the best way to deal with your imposter syndrome is to work on your self-confidence.

There are different ways that you can build up your self-confidence. This does take some time and will not be something that you can do all at once. But one step at a time is often enough to help you gain the confidence that you need. Some of the steps that you can take to get your self-confidence to increase include:

Stop the Comparison...

This one is hard to do. If you have imposter syndrome, it is really easy to compare yourself to others all the time. That is part of the problem. If you constantly spend your time comparing your salary, your skills, your home, your car, and everything else about your life to others, then you are going to feel like you are less than other people and you may feel like an imposter when you do not get something that you need.

2. Surround Yourself with Positive People

The people you surround yourself with can make a big difference. Think about who you spend your personal time with. If you are around others who are negative and constantly judge you, it is hard to feel like you belong in a corporate field at all. You may get a promotion or something else, but feel like an imposter because you are “brought back down to earth” when you hang out with your friends. Or, if you are in a competitive workplace where others judge and mock you, this can cause problems as well. The people you spend your time with are able to influence your attitudes and thoughts about yourself more than you may think. If you feel bad about yourself when you are done hanging out with a friend or a group of friends, then it is time to change your friends. It is better to surround yourself with people who appreciate you, accept you, lift you up, and who want the best for you. When you are around these people, then you will see your self-confidence go through the roof. 

3. Be Kind to Yourself

The world is tough enough. You need to use self-compassion to help treat yourself to kindness when you make a mistake or you have a setback in your life. See it as a learning opportunity rather than something bad, and use self-compassion so you feel better about yourself. Imposter syndrome can ruin your life. It can make you feel on edge and introduces a lot of negative emotions and thoughts that you need to worry about all the time. When you are ready to fight off imposter syndrome and start feeling like you belong in the workplace or at home, then contact Dr. Hudson to learn some of the simple steps you can take to make this happen!

Sending light & Love,

Dr. Gloria Hudson